Ike evacuation

Well, The Wednesday morning before Ike hit, Ike was a level 3 hurricane, but it was headed to Corpus Christi. Corpus is 5 hours from here so there was no need to evacuate. I went to work that day and then by that evening, it was predicted to be a level 4 and headed just south of Galveston.

Alot of our friends sat around contemplating whether to evacuate or not. Our family plan that states that if there is a hurricane that is a level 3 or higher and headed towards Houston/ Galveston, we evacuate. It made our decision easy. We packed that night planning to leave the next morning if predictions didn't change. I called my mom and a few close connections letting them know of our plans. We left the next morning.

We were planning on staying with a close friend in Austin. My mom called my Aunt DiDi and she offered us to stay with her. I can't tell you how grateful we were for her generosity. Her home was comfortable. But more than that she and Aunt Sherry were just genuinely warm to our little boy!!! He can be a little loud, but they just didn't notice. They were nothing but complementary about him and I am grateful. He's right at that age, where it's easy to criticize him for being developmentally exactly what he should be- an active and talkative little boy. We interacted with a couple of people that long evacuation weekend who had never had children and who weren't so accepting. It was challenging for me to not feel frustrated with them for their ridiculous philosophies about children---"Sit down, shut up (don't make noise), don't get dirty, don't touch any thing, and don't ask me play with you." It meant the world to me that they found him to be exactly what he is.... a delightful, happy, active little boy. They really made their home a comfortable and safe place for us and our little one.

In fact, I was REALLY impressed with Ian. He tolerated the whole experience very well. He was really quite a trooper and seemed to enjoy the different people and places he got to be and see in this new world. He had a lot of fun. He clearly had grown from his infant years of absolutely ZERO patience. All he wanted was "food" and "go" and stopping at a stoplight did NOT constitute going. He would scream the entire time until the car started going again. Breast feeding was tough for all of the screaming.. he would back off to take a breath and then scream because the food went away. I enjoyed him then, but am certainly grateful for the increased flexibility and patience. He has developed into quite an adaptable and enjoyable little boy!

Hurricane IKE

Well. It was looking like Ike was headed to Corpus Christi as a level 3, then suddenly this afternoon the models shifted to a category 4 headed north of Corpus, now it's a 3 headed towards us. Our Family's plan is to leave if it is a level 3 or higher and leave before the evacuations become mandatory. Ideally we should leave tonight, but we didn't arrive home to look at the changes until 8:30 tonight (too late to evacuate my little Ian). So tomorrow morning, probably 6am we will check the models again. If it still looks like a 3 or higher headed towards us, then we will leave ASAP. Hopefully that will get us out before the crowds somewhat. We shall see. If not, we will probably utilize our alternate route. None the less, we are packing just in case and it looks like we will likely be leaving in the morning.

Dave's birthday and his dreams

Dave just turned 29 today. Last weekend was Dave's birthday weekend. We don't have birthdays in our house, but birthday weekends. (As a direct result of poor birthdays as kids, I'm sure :) Anyway, we had a blast. We had left over Schlitterbaun tickets. Dave LOVES Schlitterbaun. We had an enjoyable and relaxing day. Nothing exciting, just a lot of fun!

So Dave has this dream of owning a company that flies helicopters when he "grows up", 20 or so years from now. He likes helicopters. He knows that most programmers get burnt out by about age 45-50, so why not go ahead and plan a second adventure. I think dreams are important and am completely supportive. So last year I got him Microsoft FlightNavigator for his birthday. He has really enjoyed it. This year I decided it was time for the real thing. I got him a helicopter flight for his birthday.

Ironically, on the way to Schlitterbaun, Dave brought up his helicopter dream again. I just smiled. (He had no idea what was ahead of him.) After Schitterbaun, I asked him if he knew. He still had no idea. He was thrilled when I told him. I don't know that I could have picked anything in the world that he would have been more excited about. It was awesome!

School starting

I was in primary for over 6.5 years. Literally, from the first Sunday after I got married until about 4 months ago when I finally got desperate lonely enough that I broke down sobbing in sacrament meeting and they decided to let me out of solitary confinement. I had made one friend in the last 6.5 years, fortunately a good one.

So School has started here and I am thrilled! What this means is all of those moms who I would love to get to know now only have 1-2 kids at home as opposed to 4-7. With a little effort on my behalf, I'm already starting to make friends again and starting to feel like myself again. I miss my personality. I had one once. :)

Potty training 2

So, I week or so ago, Ian had an accident so he watched me unload all of the contents into the toilet, flush it, and then attempt to rinse the remaining contents in the toilet. I should have known he found it a little too interesting.

So yesterday, I was taking a nap and I hear Dave say, "That it a bad idea." Apparently, Ian had thrown a pair of underware in the toilet. 20 min later, the house gets quiet..... I walk in the bathroom and there are 7 pair of previously clean underwear in the toilet. There wasn't a single stich of water left. The underwear had soaked it all up! We just shook our heads and laughed in total dismay.

Potty Training

Well. We've survived the first couple of weeks of potty training. Wow!!!!! There were a couple of days there when I thought I might croak over. So it took him 2 weeks to progress to 45 min. We were on 15 and then 30 min intervals for quite a while.

So week 2 of potty training, Dave went out of town in Atlanta, setting them up on his software. Ian has always been energetic. He got it from me. But recently, there has been quite a surge in those levels. WoooHooooooo! So on Thursday of week 2, Ian and his new found energy levels practically destroyed the entire house. I don't believe there was a toy in the house anywhere that he didn't play with in between his 30 min potty breaks. But he was doing great on his potty training. So Friday, I decided that I HAD to get him out of the house. So I took him to the children's museum. He had 3 accidents in the first 20 min. I thought I would die.... It was a loose,loose situation. Stay at home and watch your house fall apart or go and destroy all luck of ever potty training your kid. :) He's doing great now, but wow I was a little overwhelmed.

Floppy Buns

I had to share this one. In the summer, Ian generally just wears a onesie to bed. The other day, April got him up and changed his diaper, but didn't button up his onesie. So, he says, "Mama, my buns are floppy."

Girl's camp

I just got back from Girl's Camp on Saturday. What a neat experience!!! I went a few years ago, but at that point in my life, I was still trembling from grad school and my first year working for the school district- so I don't remember much.

I love Girl's camp!!! We went to a camp in Louisiana called Camp Edgewood. It is one of the most well kept Boy Scout Camps I have ever seen. We had 16 girls, three leaders, and a lot of fun. The July heat can be fierce, but the camp had nice tree coverage for much of the camp which helped significantly.

It's amazing how much the girl's tell you about themselves, their lives, and their challenges when you are out having fun and just hanging out with them. These are amazing girls. Many of them are having experiences not too unlike my own growing up. At first glance, people think,what trials could people be experiencing here in Yuppyville? But it's just not true. 2/3rds of these beautiful and valiant young women were experiencing something similar to some portion of my experiences growing up. From detrimentally poor examples of family members, to watching and worrying about a sick parent, being alone either emotionally and/or spiritually, or facing fear and abandonment when things are bad enough that you need to find another place for yourself. Amazingly enough, these young women were still here! They were still holding on and struggling with all their energy to figure it all out. I felt myself doing my best to cheer them on, "You're doing great. Keep it up. I know it's easier to give up, but that way is the path to a miserable existence. Keep it up. You are doing the right thing. Don't give up. And whatever you do, Please, don't seek after bad choices-- desperate misery is ahead on that path. Ask the Lord to help you. He will help you every day. Read your scriptures. Pray. And Pray some more. You can't make it without his help." I know I couldn't make it without his help.

I found myself spiritually fed just being in their presence. Watching and learning. They put on quite an amazing presentation! I found myself in tears for almost half of the hour long presentation. I am grateful for their contribution to my spiritual development. I hope that I will have the opportunity again to be with them.

My grandma

So a few posts ago- I mentioned my grandma's wedding. What I failed to mention was that I have seen her since then. In June, she happened to be in Bolivar (across the ferry from Galveston.. a total of about 2 hours away). My father, Dave, Ian, and I went out to see her for a few hours. (Bless Dave's heart- he was really busy that day, but I made him come anyway for protection.) She and my Uncle Ricky, his wife, and their grandkids were there. They had rented a cute little beach house on Bolivar. It was quite quaint. They were all very warm. (A marked difference from my last experience.) It was really a very positive experience. I even learned a thing or two about my mother. It was nice to see my grandmother so healthy. She's really doing well. She mentioned that she might throw a family reunion sometime. I told her to schedule it on a Friday and Saturday and we would do our best to be there. She lives in Arkansas.

When It all added up. I'm really glad I made the choice that I did (to not go to the wedding). Doing that would not have been commensurate with the relationship we had. But going two hours to see her- that was. And I'm glad we went. It was nice. We took some photos. I'm sure Dave will help me to attach them later.

My Buddy

Melissa Mathews gave this doll to Ian for Christmas. He has recently rediscovered it. It reminds me of the old My Buddy commercials. He carries the thing around and takes care of it. Yesterday he told me that the baby needed to go to bed. We came up to his room later and found that he had indeed put the baby to bed and tucked him in. He even insists that we buckle him in when we get in the car.

Kemah Boardwalk

Last week we went to the Kemah Boardwalk. It's got all kinds of rides that were perfect for Ian. He had a great time. Of course, he rode the train three times.

It's been a while

It's been a while since I've written. Sorry about that. Ian's been keeping me quite busy. And I think I was going through a struggle or two for a while. You know, I try not to look back on my experiences growing up. It can be quite traumatizing to look back. I try to look back only enough to make me realize how much the Lord has done for me, but not enough to throw myself into crisis.
Fortunately/ unfortunately I've had a few experiences over the past little while that have forced me to look back and try to make sense of it all. In November and December, my blood sugar hit the dust again. My hypoglycemia is something I have struggled with since I was 19. (arguably since 13). I spend most of my life with my blood sugar in the 50-70 range. It creates for me very real and distinct physical limits. I've pretty much just learned to live with them and enjoy life anyway. It's tough for me when I hit the dust again however.
Our whole family got the flu the day after Christmas and it took all of us a couple of months to pull out of it (me -even longer).
Why is this a big deal? Well, to be honest. I'm 31. I have a disorder of the pancreas. My mother was 32 when she died. Her pancreas exploded. (She also had a significant prescription drug problem which factored in significantly.) Cognitively, I know that it's all ok. (I'm not going to die or anything.) But it does cause me to stop and ponder and occasionally worry just a little bit.

So- I pulled out of that in Feb sometime. Then at the end of February, I get a call from my Father. About the time I found out I had been dropped by my health insurance because of my hypoglycemia. Apparently my grandmother (my mother's mom) was getting married (for the 6th time) in the temple (for the first time). Since I am the only grandchild who is temple worthy. She wanted me to come he said.

Well. In order to understand my response, you will need to get some background info...
When my mother was alive, I had an entire network of people who cared about me. My mom had 5 siblings. I had 13 cousins, all who lived within 30 miles and got together quite a lot. My mom had 2 best friends and we spent a lot of time with them as well. All of my grandparents were an active part of my life. My mom was active in the PTA and I always got great parts because of her support. We had a lot of connections--- at school, at church, family connections. We spent every holiday at my grandma's house- all of us cousins. I loved it. We were your typical middle class family. (plus a drug addicted, but otherwise amazing mother).

Well, my mom died and within 2 years- everyone disappeared. My aunts, uncle, cousins, grandparents on both sides, my mom's best friends and everyone at church (we were largely shunned). We were no longer invited to Christmas at my grandmothers. My father had offended them all. At the time it didn't bother me. I was a pretty independent soul. That was 3rd to 5th grade.

But life moves on. When I was 18 (give or take), I drove down there from Abilene with my brother Chuckie. We were visiting my father and my aunts (who we hadn't seen in close to 10 years). We decided to go see my grandma. Well, when we got there they barely let us in the door. My Uncle Ricky yelled at us for 4-5 minutes before they let us in.

That's right, I hadn't seen her for almost 10 years and she barely let us in the door. And that was the ONLY interaction I had had with my grandmother since I was 10. So when my Father called and she wanted me to come to her wedding in Arkansas (which would have cost me up to $1000 for flights and hotel), my immediate reaction was some combination of feeling hurt (because they were so Rude), feeling betrayed (dumped, abandoned), feeling pissed that she would expect so much from me when she treated me so badly, and overall used that she only wanted me there because she just wanted to have a family member at her wedding and I was the only one. I immediately said "no". But it was pretty important to my father, which caused me to feel quite conflicted about the thing. She was a member of the church and should have someone at her wedding. And I was her granddaughter (supposedly).

It caused me to take a good hard look at why all of these people disappeared and what I could do to ensure that my son would NEVER be left alone like we were. WE were in serious poverty, basically inches from the streets for years before my father dumped us at my Aunt's house. Where my cousin smoked crack in my front yard. I had a friend who took me to church and mutual every week (Thank you Melissa Crockett). Simply going to church kept me protected from a lot of what was going on around there- kept me from being taken advantage of--- too badly at least. My brother wasn't so lucky.

The combination of these things and the pressure to have another kid. Ian's 2.5 now, so every other day someone asks me when we will have another. I think it's rude!!!!!!!!

Anyway- I think I've recently made peace with all of this. At least for now. But If I've been quiet, that might have something to do with it. Dave and I have been working hard to get our life in order. We're doing great! We've come a long way. In June, we conquered the last bit of our credit card debt- which was HUGE a year ago. (Roughly a mortage payment worth each month.) Now we are saving and using that mortgage payment worth to pay off our cars, student loans, and house. We'll get there. We're doing great! Life feels a lot more secure now.

Co-writing

Sorry it's been so long.
I guess I've gone through a quiet phase here. Largely due to the fact that--- well, I have a very active 2.5 year old who insists that I keep up with him. :) He's amazing. We really enjoy him. We've been co-writing alot lately.... I do the drawing and the physical writing of the words, and he tells me what to draw and write. It frees him of all of the physical and linguistic difficulties of writing so he can just create. He loves it. It's been amazing what this kid has created. This kid has some great stories to tell! Of course most of them are about Thomas and his friends. "Thomas is pulling Annie and Clarabell all over the Island of Sodor". "Thomas has a funnel and a big separate coal tender at the back." Not too shabby for a 2.5 year old. I'll try to get Dave to help me attach some of his pictures.

Sea World

It occurs to me that we haven't posted in a long time :). We went to Sea World (San Antonio) in May. Here are the photos. Cheers.

Two- In all its glory!

You know. Ian is amazing. He really is just a delightful little munchkin. He is 2 (and 4 months). And with the age comes a vocabulary that is pack full of "my", "mine", and "no." He even says "no" to things that he wants. He truly is TWO in all it's glory! Thank goodness- he balances out the "my" and "no"s with a sincere, overwhelming gratitude. You need to know, that Please was literally the first word we taught him, but I had NO idea at the time, how valuable the word would be. People adore the kid- even with the "my/no"s because he is just happy and grateful. Almost as frequently as he says the above stated indicators of age, he produces, "Please" and the brightest, warmest most grateful "Thank you". He also has a nice, sincere "Sorry" when necessary. As a two year old, he's just learning the nicest way to say/do things. But he certainly knows how to show others love and gratitude. I am grateful. It sure makes the two year old developmental characteristics more palatable.

He is doing all he can to assert his independence while still keep his mama close at hand. Yesterday we took him to Battleship Texas. We wanted him to get on the boat- so he wanted to get off. Later, we wanted him to get off the boat- so he wanted to stay on. I LOVE IT! I get it man. :) You see, what he doesn't know is that his mama is just as determined/independent/ rebellious as him. When I watch him assert his independence, I just smile (and of course, re-direct him back). When I look back at my life, I realize that it is that fiercely independent streak that helped me to survive and to stand up and do what was right for me no matter what. (To this day, my father still spites me for that characteristic ;) When I see it in Ian, I just smile. I'm glad to know my kid's got a little "umph" to him. That "umph" will help that kid through a lot of disappointment in life. We all have to face our share of it. I'd rather my kid press forward through it and find solutions when things are tough. It's truly beautiful to me. Don't get me wrong, I'm still in charge, but I don't mind the temporary difference of opinion.

They always tell you how tough it is to have a 2 year old. It's got its challenges, but I love it! I can't imagine that little boy being any more wonderful or fun!

Ian's inner voice

Like most small children, Ian has no "inner voice" whatever he thinks comes out his mouth. For him this results in an endless stream of chatter that I find to be even slightly musical. I love to listen to him. It provides valuable information about what he's thinking about, what's important to him, and what he is actively trying to learn about.

Now days I hear more and more of my own voice and the voice of the adults in his world in his chatter. "Yea!", "Good job", "Hi Baby!", "No, no, no", "Oh my goodness", "Trash", "No way", "Thank you", "Excuse me", "Wifey", "Heavenly Father, Amen", "At home, at school, at play", "going to church. See momma may", "Mommy's ok?", "Going to Nini's house. See the kids" "Happy, Happy".

A well known Psychologist (erikson, I think, but I'm not sure) said that when a child is small, they don't have an inner voice. They use their outer voice to think through and understand the world, as they grow older, their outer voice shifts inward. It recently occured to me, if his outer voice echos me. So will his inner voice. That's right. The words I say. The words Dave says. The words the other adults in his world say to him will ultimately become his inner voice. The voice he will use to guide him through his life. Thus far I hear a happy kid who knows he's loved and know's how to love others and really likes trains and cars, likes church, and is really interested in Heavenly Father.

I still remember my mother's voice, "You are my pride and joy." She also believed I was smart and kind and really pretty. She reminded me to be modest, obey the word of wisdom of wisdom, and warned me against people that might try to put their hands where they don't belong. She taught me to find joy in service. Her words protected me against alot of pain in life.

It makes me realize how important it is to make sure the things I say are loving, kind, productive, and instructive. I've always believed that children become what you believe they are. Now I understand why.

My financial learning

So recently (over the past 6 months), I have some to realize my own financial cluelessness. (Don't worry, obviously not in the same ball park as my father.) It's amazing. I went to school for 6 years and had only a single 45 min lecture on personal/ family finance. Back in June, we got a copy of our credit report. I was absolutely shocked. We were paying mass quantities of our income in debt, not including student loans or our home. Our payments were equal to our mortgage payment. It didn't really even know how it happened. (I have since slowly come to understand. Ironically- Most of it came out of simple ignorance and not knowing how to plan.) Fortunately, we had a copy of "Transforming Debt into Wealth" by John Cummuta. I had listened to it before, and we had made modifications accordingly, but I guess this time, we were ready. Basically, he presents a plan similar to "One for the money" that the church publishes. Only this program provides a lot more education in the process. Well, 6 months later, we have recovered much of those resources, and by April, we will have recovered the remainder. And in the process of our learning, we have discovered something amazing.... the path to financial security and freedom. I think there's some hope for us.

Even better, if we stay on target and don't loose our way, Ian will have something I don't have... Parents to are comfortable in their retirement- and can take care of his college- so he can focus on doing great things with his life.

Maybe, in the distant future, we will even be stable enough to make a real difference for my father. In the meantime, I'm satisfied with learning to manage finances myself. It's already made a huge difference.

Financial learning- my father

My dad said something once that hit me. He said, "I made good money at times, I just never saved for a rainy day." It's true. He really was doing well at times, but it did him no good. He refused to learn about finances. He NEVER managed his own finances. He always delegated them to someone else and refused to learn. He has paid the price.

But the problem is, so have his children. He dropped us off at my aunts door when I was 13 and just never made it back. It was a sess pool. Both my brother and I were seriously taken advantage of. My brother far more than me. Now that my father is older, he wants those years back- both the one's when he was an absent workaholic and when he abdicated those responsibilities. Well, their gone.

Wow. I sure am venting here. There really is a point to all of this. Financial responsibility is important. Without it, a person can loose everything.

What sucks most of all, is that I know that I will be supporting that guy in his retirement years. What a huge, scarey burden it is to know that I will need to not only save for my own childrens' college and my retirement, but also for my father's in 15 years. That's right. The same jerk that hasn't supported me since I was 13. If he had his way, I would also be supporting him through his early retirement years (now.)

Honestly, it's selfish. You mismanage your finances your whole life and I get to feel bad about myself for not being able to fix your problems in the present, and get to carry your financial burden and rob from my children's security in the future. Thanks Dad.

All right, just a couple of months ago, I would have given him ample merit for his contributions to my life- giving me the gospel. But honestly, recently he has burned me deeply. Sorry for the venting session.

Financial learning- my father

Over the past 6 months or so, I have spent a lot of time learning about finances. I've come to understand that I, like most people have been completely clueless on the subject. It's amazing that a person can go through 6 years of school and only have a single lecture about personal/family financial management.

I look at my father. the man has worked hard all of his life. 12 hour days. He truly is and has always been a workaholic. Yet, he still lives in abject poverty. Truly abject poverty. It's terrible. I feel bad about myself every time I go to visit him. He lives in an old broken down trailor in a row of trailors out in the middle of no where. I lived there when I was 15. There was plywood to keep us from falling through the floor, and ripped plastic to fight the cold wind from getting through the broken window. It was colder inside in the winter than outside. We had to boil water to take a bath. My step sister later became bald because of the water we were drinking.

Well, now he's moved next door, to a slightly nicer trailor, only for his situation to become far worse. He got really hurt at work several years ago. Since then, he's only been able to get spotty work - from a guy that usually doesn't pay him. He's survived only off of the church. Most of my step-mom's 5 kids, their kids, and their kids are all living there and mooching off of my mostly unemployed father. None with jobs and several doing drugs. It's a mess. It's a virtual sess pool, where everyone meets the minimum of their potential.

I have, of course, given him money from time to time to help out , but it hasn't made a lick of difference. I could hand the man 50k tomorrow (if I had it) and it still wouldn't improve their circumstances. They might pay off the trailor, but the money saved would just get sucked away by the sess pool.

Having grown up partially in that environment, I know how much they despise "rich" people (aka- even folks who are in lower middle class ranks are "rich" to them.). I know that I now qualify as "rich". I feel miserable about myself every time I think about my father.... I'm comfortable. Maybe if I shared, we would both be ok. But the truth is, it doesn't work that way. (see the previous paragraph).

Ian's Second Birthday

Here's the video from Ian's birthday party.

locating the volume control

Wow. Our little boy has developed quite a set of lungs. It doesn't matter if he's happy or sad, his voice volume is WAY up. He hasn't quite located his volume control knob, much less learned how to use it. He's got two volumes- loud and screaming. Our ears are about to fall into shreds. We are working diligently on it, but in the mean time- WOW! Eich. I'm sure over time and with diligent effort, this too will be managed, but the process required to get there is quite head ache inducing.

Unfortunately, if he is my child, he will still be having volume control issues at 30. We might be in for the long haul on this one. Who knows. But we love our boy. He's truly a great kid.

Houston Downtown Aquarium

Houston Downtown Aquarium

One of my favorite things about having a little boy is that he forces me to get out and enjoy life. Fortunately Houston has quite lot to enjoy. We have a great downtown aquarium. They have a fully functioning coral reaf, another exhibit with fish that are twice the size of Ian, white tigers, and a whole maze full of underwater delights. They have this great train ride to see the sharks. Ian didn't care about the sharks so much (he was pretty disappointed when the train stopped so that the passengers could see them), but he sure loved that train!

Dave and I laughed. It was just a dumb train. The adult me would have laughed at the cheesy little thing. But for Ian, that 5 minute train ride was the most exciting thing in the world. Life really is more fun with a munchkin to enjoy it with.

Bayou Wildlife Park

We've got a great wildlife park here. The animals are just free to roam about. They've got quite a selection.

Ian Christmas 2006

Some New Videos

Well, with the advent of iLife '08, I've finally gotten around to encoding some of our home videos. The first two are actually from the same time, shortly before Christmas last year. Ian loved to just sit in the middle of the train track and watch it go around. When he was finished, he decided he needed a bit of a wrestle.

The last video is of him walking shortly after learning how. It was like a new art for the little guy, it's all he wanted to do.

In the next couple of days I'll post the video from Christmas morning. Cheers!

Boat Ride

Ian loves any and all conveyances. We regularly make trips to NASA to look at the rockets. His favorite toys are his cars, trucks, & trains. A few weeks ago we went to Galveston and rented a boat for a couple of hours. Ian absolutely loved it. We all had a lot of fun. Clickie for biggie.

Ian Talking

Ian talks a lot. He clearly talks a lot more than most kids his age. In the nursery, he's the youngest child, but he's also by far the most vocal.

It's a bit frustrating because he's one of the best behaved kids I know, but you couldn't tell from Sacrament Meeting. We have to remind ourselves that most kids his age aren't talking much, and the older ones that do talk seem to have learned a bit more control. Even so, it's a bit embarrassing when the sacrament starts and your little boy is yelling, "Bread, bread! Found bread!"

iPhone

Well. I feel like I'm becoming a part of technological history. I am officially the 11th person in the iPhone line. I hate to say it, but it's kinda fun. Dave's been here since 8am. It's now 11:30. I figured he needed a break so I came to relieve him. He's been excited about this since the day they announced the thing (literally- he kept me up for forever to watch the video.) He's so excited. It's like Christmas. Only better for him.

For the record, the ONLY reason that Dave is getting one is because he programs for PDAs for his job. He writes this scheduling software, it sends techs out in the field their schedule and allows them to complete their transactions (like the UPS guys, only it does a LOT more), then it syncs with QuickBooks. Anyway, It's his job to be an innovator. Already 6 months ago, people were asking if he could program for the iPhone. They will be asking for it within no time, so Dave's gotta get it and get going.

But, I dunno. I'm certainly not a techno-geek (just a speech geek), but it is fun to be part of history.

Prancing about the nation

Wow. So my Dave has become quite the traveler in recent months. Since the beginning of Feb he has been to Utah, New York City, Dallas (x2), Utah, Dallas, Las Vegas, and now Denver. He'll be back again this evening. It's good. We miss him. He's doing well. The trips are hard on him. He loves his family and really just wants to be home. But we are grateful because the traveling is a sign that things are going well with his work. He works hard and does incredible work, I'm always grateful when others realize it too.

Out and about

Our little one has reached toddlerhood in full bloom. He has an agenda of his own and that agenda involves Outside (or "side", as he calls it- his word for both outside and inside) and "car". It's really a lot of fun! Now days he doesn't nap until 1:30, so we have a pretty decent chunk of time to take him out and about. He loves to go to the zoo, the park, Space Center Houston, and The Downtown Aquarium, the library, yoga, the children's museum and anywhere else that involves "side" or "car" (but not too long in the car). We can't wait for the towne's pool to open in another week or so.

We have the greatest backyard ever! Ok, so it's really nothing fancy, just an old deck with a muddy patch along the fence. But our house is somewhat older (1985 ish). We have the most wonderful trees in our back yard. They lightly sprinkle shade across the yard, creating this breezy back yard haven. Their shade is perfect, so as to protect the grass from the fierce Texas sun, but not kill the grass due to lack of light. As a result the grass is full and green with only minimal effort. I have even ventured, ever-so-slightly into gardening, planting 6-7 potted plants worth of petunias and other inexpensive flowers (I figure, if I kill them, then at least I'm only down $20 total.) The weather has been perfect (for the most part) for a month or two now. I'm loving it. Ian loves to be out there and so do I!

I am an outside girl. I LIVE to be outside in nature. Dave, however, is much more of a home-body/ movie buff. However, Dave clearly realizes Ian's need to get out in nature, prompting Dave to take us all out for the fun. I've been dying to go out and pick fruit. (Any kind of fruit would do) for a while now, but have been waiting for the fruit harvest and our schedule to collide. The two finally decided to cooperate last weekend. We took Ian out strawbery and peach picking. We had the best time! Ian knew JUST what to do. The strawberry plants were just the right height for him to see under the plants and find all of the yummy strawberries. The lowest branches of the peach trees were the perfect height as well, just a little reach for him. He had a great time and so did we. My Dad and step-mom Linda met us out there. It was great to spend time with them. They seemed to really enjoy the picking and watching Ian run about.

My little bird

Every morning I wake up to the sweetest little bird in my baby monitor. First the I hear an almost imperceptible attempt at a whine. As if to say, "awe-no. It's morning, but I'm still tired." Then silence as the little one resumes his almost sleeping position (butt up in the air). Then another stir and whine, this time a little stronger a few minutes later, "But I don't wanta wake up". Then the tiny creature crosses over into a still reluctant, but more awake state, talking to himself, still laying there, enjoying his last moments of rest. Followed by a joyful oration celebrating each of his favorite words. "Papa, Mama, Cars, train, kix." or whatever words he's practicing that day.

I find myself laying in my own comfortable nest, echoing the exact same message. First, "Awe. no. It's morning, but I'm still tired. Maybe he'll sleep for a few more minutes. " Then, "Ahh. My little boy's waking up. But I don't want to wake up." Then, "Ahhh. He's singing again. I'd better get up." Then, "What a cute little boy." What's hard to explain is the almost chemical/ emotional reaction I feel in response to the little one's chirp. Many times, I'm still exhausted when I hear his call (and lots of times, Dave answers it for me), but what a joyful noise to wake up to each morning! How delightful to have such a wonderful little boy wandering about all over our home and our lives.

Picking Strawberries

We went to the Strawberry Patch in Wharton, TX to pick strawberries & peaches. Georgie and Gammaw Linda met us there. Ian jumped right in without any instructions. The only trouble was convincing him to put the strawberries in his basket instead of his mouth :). He even took a few bites out of the peaches. Afterwards, he played in the sandboxes while his mom took care of business. We all had a great time.

Easter 2007

Easter morning was fun. The Easter Bunny laid out Ian’s eggs in a path leading to his presents. With a just a little help, Ian gathered all the eggs and open his presents. He played with those eggs for weeks afterwards.

18-20

I have a co-worker/friend, (ok, she's really my boss) who moved back into her parent's home at 32 due to some unfortunate circumstances which happened to her. Life just crashed down around her and she needed/ welcomed the support, love, and guidance of home. Well, now 4 years later, she is trying to leave again and is finding herself incredibly disillusioned and frustrated with them. For their part, they just can't seem to let her go and call/e-mail her about the most minuscule of things. (for example: the absolute crime of leaving dirty dishes in the dishwasher during the day.)

So, I was talking to her about this the other day and asked her, "Is this the first time in your life, you've ever been disillusioned with your parents?" She said something interesting, she said, "No, when I was 18, 19, 20, I went through this. I told them to stay out of my life, I was 4 hours away and was going to do what I wanted. But, back then, I was such a pain in the ___ that they were happy to send me away."

I was thinking about this and my own experiences and have decided that during the phase between 18-20 and sometimes for much longer, I think almost everyone- if not everyone- despises their parents. It seems to be a universal stage of development that everyone goes through. In some weird way, I guess it's even an important experience in order to break out of the nest and build your own world. It's as if at that age- for the first time, you can see all of your parents screw ups, but you're still too young to know that you are a screw-up too. You haven't realized yet that this whole world somehow runs in spite of the fact that most people aren't that competent. (Heck, apparently, I don't even know how to spell competent. Thank goodness for spell checker.) So, at 19 a person can critically analyze every mistake their parents ever made, but they are still comparing their parents to this imaginary fairy tale super-human parent. They haven't yet crashed and burned enough times to realize that NO ONE is competent. (Misspelled it again.)

My point... I wonder if it helps our children later on, if we are honest about our imperfections early. Eventually they are going to figure out that we aren't super-human! Is it better to let them down easy? Right now, to Ian, I look like this all-knowing, all-powerful super woman. I can do anything, I know just what to do, and when to do it. He has no idea that I don't know what I'm doing.

The other day, Ian was touching a shelf of DVDs that is "forbidden" because we don't want them scattered throughout the house. Dave told him "No". Ian walked away obediently, but was clearly upset. His feelings were hurt and Dave just couldn't figure out why. Now, this wasn't a protest cry, this was a "But Dad, I just don't understand" cry. Upon further investigation, Dave learned that Ian was pointing to a Baby Einstein DVD which he is absolutely aloud to watch whenever he wants. Ian wasn't trying to play in forbidden territory, he was trying to make a simple request. Dave lovingly apologized, asked him to sign, "Please", and put it on. My point, We don't always know what is going on in Ian's head, so sometimes we accidentally hurt his feelings. His feelings are important and occasionally he deserves an apology when we can't read his mind. Not necessarily because we did something wrong, but because we love our child and it hurts his feelings when people don't understand. Maybe a little understanding and a few sorries in these years might help to decrease the beating he will dish out to us when he is 18-20. We'll see. :)

Screetching Soprano

Our little one grows so much, so fast. In the last month, he went from not walking, still cruising around, to moving independently - far and fast. Now that his legs are stable, he likes to check out the world upside down in a highly adorable, leg supported head stand. His language is exploding as well, He's now learned signs for "Please, more, banana, bike, drink, and some attempt at outside" and says, "mama, dada, cup, car, green, jiggle-jiggle (the sound he makes for his dad's belly), tickle-tickle, pssss (potty), and please, " He's really starting to understand a lot. As a speech-therapist, I find myself mentally cataloging each new behavior, It's just so exciting to watch him seemingly without effort, progress through each step. One day, you are just dilligently teaching (or not even teaching something), the next, seemingly out-of-the-blue, he's got it! It's really just a lot of fun.

I remember a few years ago, someone referring to their child as "fun" and thinking, "uh, ya right, I'm no dummy. Kids are just a lot of work. Good work, but work." Now I realize that I was dead on, but wrong as well. Ian is just a joy! He just amazes me every day. I follow patterns. I expect to see what is next on the pattern. But, with Ian, he's been doing A & B so I expect a C, when suddenly an E or F jumps out of no where, leaving the C &D for a later surprise when I have all but given up on them. I just really enjoy him.

With these new happenings, comes also the less delightful developments as well. Ian has learned quite a few signs and words. He has learned that words/ signs have power. But he doesn't have a word or sign for Everything yet. And he does want just that--Everything-- to see and do and touch and feel and/ or eat Everything. There's the whole world to explore and he's gotta see it. It's gotta be frustrating for him sometimes, to have the whole world in front of you, have no way to access most of it, and have words for 10 items. He's also been practicing his high-pitch soprano voice, which converts itself occasionally, but conveniently into a clearly audible frustration signal as well. I thought I was gonna go insane for a couple of days there, but fortunately, it seems to be decreasing within the last few days. (I think as a result of teaching substitute vocabulary.) I go into auditory sensory overload pretty easily, so I was about to loose it for a couple of days there. Of course, this was the same day that Ian learned that he could splatter food over a 4 food radius if he blew raspberries at just the right time, AND that it was fun to dump out cups. My ears and my clothes were oversaturated. (Fortunately, I have developed strategies to minimize all of these, but Wow were they frustrating.)

Then, yesterday as I was watching him do his little thing, It occurred to me. I think it's really easy for parents to say to themselves, "When my kid starts/ stops ...... (fill in the blank), then I will really enjoy him/ her." Well, that's just silly. Don't you know, that with the next phase of development comes a whole new set of desirable AND less desirable characteristics. We've got to teach him so he grows out of them successfully and thrives in each new phase. But if we always wait for our children/ spouses/ life to be absolutely perfect, and of course absolutely convenient, to enjoy him/ them- Then we could waste our whole lives never realizing that what we have is nothing less than amazingly wonderful.

Limbo

I've be pretty quiet lately on the blog (really since about May). I have had several e-mails requesting that I end my tight-lipped stale mate and start writing again. Well, the truth is- If you know much about me, you know that when any one aspect of my life is uncertain, I, like a turtle, hide deep inside my shell. Only, unlike a turtle I keep walking forward-with shaking feet- waiting for something bad to happen, but believing that if I just keep walking, somehow, all of the uncertainty will clear. All right, so it's not my finer characteristic, but it's my version of bravery.

Life involves risks. Greatness requires it, even thrives on it. Not random, stupid risks. But thoughtful, well calculated risks with good backup plans .

When I decided to go to Penn State, I took a HUGE risk. (Huge Risk is defined as up to 40k dollars and no social life at the same time.) But I knew it was the right thing- and I have NEVER regreted it. I ended up paying 20k, but it was WELL worth it. I now have an incredibly unique and marketable set of skills. If I could do it all again, I would, only this time, I wouldn't be so scared.

Well, in Dave's "spare time" (a.k.a., the time "left over"/ squeezed out/ created in the tiny crevaces between working full time, going to school full time, being a brand new dad and an excellent husband, and being elders quorum president), he has been working on a project for quite a while now. It's really the kind of top-knotch work that few people can produce. Dave is an artist at heart, he LOVES to create. And he's really good at it. He's had someone marketing and using his computer program for quite a while now.

At the same time, Dave's primary employer (now previous employer) was really limiting the scope of items Dave could create in that environment. He had created for them an incredible product, which they used for years. All he was really doing was tweaking it. It was getting stale.

In October, we made a decision that it was time for him to focus on his project, complete it, and sell it. (With financial support.) Well, you know that feeling you get in your stomach when you know you are doing the right thing, but you still are almost paralyzed with fear. Yep. That's been me. I have this sub-theme to my life, a lesson, I keep having to learn over and over. To TRUST the Lord. Trust that things well work out.

Well, We're about 3/4 the way through this tunnel here. I am starting to see the light at the end. It's really exciting. Of course, I'm still waiting for a huge log to fall on my tunnel and squish me. But, I can feel the knot in my stomach loosening ever so slightly.

My point. In life, we have to take risks- intelligent, well thought out, well planned risks. I never regret it. Those difficult, but right decisions have lead me down paths that have added value, uniqueness, meaning, and color to my life. I have so much more to offer now. I guess my only regret is that I spend half of the time hiding in my shell waiting for the next tree to crash on me rather than simply enjoying the amazing adventure.

Relationships

You know, it's the funniest thing about relationships. They can make you care about, even pray for, things that before the relationship you never would have even known existed.

My Dave has been working on a project for a couple of years now. He's pretty much done, but has some important loose ends to tie up. So, I called him at lunchtime today. He said, "My security certificate came through." I cheered with joy and inwardly smiled a prayer of gratitude. This makes me laugh for two reasons: 1. I KNOW what a security certificate is. (If you don't know- don't worry- no one else knows either.) and 2. I actually CARE about the details associated with one. Why? Because it affects someone I love, therefore, it affects me. I want Dave to be successful in his efforts and happy.

The same thing goes with our little one. Dave and I have conversations regularly about Ian's poop. (Poor thing- he will read this years from now and be totally disgusted/ embarrased.) Not that this is interesting in the least, but because it is an indicator of his overall health. We love the kid, so we inadverdently monitor anything that might help us to assist him in being healthy and happy. I could describe for you in intricate deal how Ian walks and many other things about him.

Thus is the story of relationships. When we love a person, we open ourselves up in so many ways. We learn to care about all of the aspects of a person that build the texture of their character. We learn about their hopes, dreams, thoughts, cognitive struggles, philosophies, physical health and development, emotional health and development, knowledge, history, fears, and relationships (current and past). And in learning about them, we add texture to our own souls.

Ahh. What a delicate and beautiful thing a Whole person is. How important is it to appreciate that soul. How crutial not to rip apart the texture, for those holes are the most difficult to mend.

Holiday Magic

You know, when I look at my little boy. I can't help, but realize how Christmas and everything else in his world is magic to him. I remember as a little one. It was all magic!

Parents were magical. In my mind, they were perfect. Maybe I didn't understand everything they did, and I certainly protested when I didn't agree, but deep inside I truly believed that they were always right. I had no idea that 1/2 of the rules they imposed were completely and totally arbitrary. Nor did I have any idea about how much effort they had to put in simply to make our home, clothes, and food exist. These things just existed- or didn't exist. Poof. It appeared. As child, our home, clothes, food, etc were simply there. Cognitively, there was no connection between their existance and anything else. In this way, our home was magic, my school was magic, my teachers were magic, my parents were magic. My teachers simply were there at church. (They didn't have to work all week, take care of their homes and families, somehow squeeze in time to prepare for their lessons, then get themselves and their families ready for church, drive to church, and then come to teach me. Nope. They just poof appeared and taught a lesson.)

And Christmas. Wow! You just couldn't get more magical than that! You walk down stairs Christmas morning and Woah.... Thousands of lights (or so it appears) glisten before your eyes. A whole room full of presents arrive for you to enjoy. WOW!!!

Now, as an adult, gifts no longer magically appear. We work really hard to acquire them for our loved ones. Magic is replaced with dedication and sincere love. I think this is what our little munchkins are all about. To remind us to enjoy the magic! To remind us, that we, too, are little children. And this whole mysic universe is a gift. A gift from a loving Heavenly Father. Sure, It will be a long time from now before we understand the effort he put into all of it. But for now, I think he would appreciate it if we would just stop skurrying about, breathe in and out, and thank our Father for those lungs, and this world, and WOW! How did he do all of this! What an amazing Christmas present! It's magic to me.

First Birthday

Ian's birthday party was really a lot of fun! They say that a child's first birthday is more for the parent than the child. The child won't remember it anyway. Maybe that's true. I donno. But for us, celebrating his birthday wasn't so much about creating a memory for him, but truly a CELEBRATION. We adore our baby boy and are thrilled about the changes and the joys that he has brought to our life. Our lives changed in the hugest of ways when he was born. We treasure every day with him. I guess that's the point, not to create a memory that he won't remember anyway, but to begin the habit of stopping the rat race for a moment- and treasure the most important thing there is in life----- LIFE! The love and happiness that one life (in this case an incredibly active little munchkin) brings to the rest of us.

None the less- his birthday was big fun!!! My best friend Janine and her family came. She made his birthday cakes. A football and baseball for the group and an exact replica of his favorite ball. It was really incredible! Her kids are incredible. They are 8-11 years old. They ADORE Ian. They were so sweet to all the kids there. Melissa Buckner is his nanny for the semester. (We have been close friends with she and her family for a good 5-6 years now.) It's really nice to have her around. She's incredible. She did a large part of the decorations. She blew up these really cool 4 foot long squiggly balloons. The kids LOVED them. She got him lots of balloons. One of Dora the Explorer. He loves Dora. He's been hugging that ballon ever since. It's almost life sized- so it's about twice Ian's size. Sarah (Melissa's sister) and her son Nathaniel came. Nathaniel is now almost 2. He had SUCH a great time! He had a great time playing with Ian's toys and Ian and the Moses kids. My superviser, Becky came and brought her little girl Lily. Lily had a great time with the Moses kids. They must have played with those ballons for 3/4 of the party. Morris and May came too. They just got back from a trip to Japan and were quite tired, but it was good to have them there. It was really just a lot of fun.

Janine gave Ian a little bike. It's awesome. He's too short to reach the pedals, but it's got a pole on the back to push him with. Wow does he love that thing! It's perfect. She really adores Ian. It's such a blessing to have such good friends who treasure my baby like I do.

New Bike

First Birthday Bash

Click for pictures of Ian's first birthday party.

Watching the Washer

Having fun staring at the washer.

From now on, click on the iPod icon to download the iPod version.

Tickle Time

Ian being tickled by his mom. iPod version here.

Saying Hi

Here's an adorable video of Ian being Ian. He's just having fun and, as always, trying to get to the camera. Sorry it's a little bigger than I like to make it (3.4MB), so please be patient while it loads. Also, for those so inclined, there's and iPod version here.

Greyson

This is Ian's friend Greyson. His mom works with April (also three days a week) so they like to get together for play dates.

Mohawk

The other day Kileen gave Ian a mohawk. It was so cute, we had to publish it.

Ian's Ball

Ian loves his ball. He takes it everywhere. Once he gets it in his hand, he doesn't let go. He'll hold onto it for hours. It's really cute. Last week, during Sunday School, he learned how to throw it. Because the carpet is so much thinner in the church building, it actually bounces. He had a ball (wink, wink). I ended up having to take it away when it almost took the Sunday School teacher's head off.

Personality

To quote an old song, "He's got personality." And boy does he. Ian is quite a little explorer. He loves to see and learn about everything. We thoroughly enjoy watching him just be himself. Earlier I pulled out an old plastic ice cream bucket. He must have played with that thing for like 30 minuites- listening to his own echo.

In psychology, they talk about the "goodness of fit" between a parent and their child- how well the parent's personalities fit with their child's. I feel pretty grateful for a kid who fits us and vice versa. I look at some parents I know- they really truly want their child to "just sit there and behave". (Which is just fine- for the record.) Those parents would never appreciate our curious, adventurous, stair climbing, everything-on-earth climbing, speed of light moving, talkative, perfect little boy. But those are the very characteristics that make us enjoy him so much. We think those kids who just sit there are boring and are glad they get to be with their own parents-because they are a good fit. Thank goodness.

mmmmaaaaaaaammmaa

Ian is practicing his mama. It's really cute. Of course, he uses it for mom, food, and lalalalala (just blabbering), but the Ian adoring Speech therapist in me can't help but ham it up. Dave claims it's a real word. I'm not convinced yet, but I'm sure loving it!

Adoring

You know, I just cherish my time with our little boy. He's really an amazing little boy. Sweet kid. he just cut his first tooth yesterday. (8.5 months) You know, that's gotta hurt. I noticed that he was a little bit grumpier than usual and a bit more clingy, but nothing particularly viscious. I just find it remarkable that he can stay so pleasant in spite of it all.

I just appreciate that little boy. What a joy to have such a sweet little munchkin crusing around the house. He's VERY active, "into everything", and quite the little explorer boy. We love it!

People keep telling us, "Oh no, you'll hate it when he starts crawling. He'll be into everything." Well, he is crawling and he is into everything, but we love it. It's just fun to watch him explore. To watch the wheels in his brain turn as he inspects everything around him meticulously. Analytically evaluating each curve, each sound, each motion. Sure it requires a more careful eye to keep him safe, but what a joy! I just enjoy each and every day with him.

I really belive that's the best thing I can give my son... parents who adore him. That was the gift my mother gave me. She adored me. She believed I was smart and kind and wonderful. She called me her "pride and joy". I've spent my whole life trying to prove her right. I was willing to overcome any obstacle to prove it.

I feel the great need enjoy him everyday and teach him the things that will help him to be sucessful and happy in the future (For the moment... "pulling up the carpet is unacceptable behavior"). My mother only managed to be with me for 9 years. I guess I feel the great need to I live my life so that if he only had me for a short while, he would have the kind of self-esteem and inner strength to make it through. --- To choose what's right, stand up for what he believes, then look deep inside, reach his potential, and then give back to the world and to his own family.

Personality development

It's nice to watch his little personality develop. When he was first born he had absolutely NO patience. Bless his heart, he only wanted two things, "Food and Go!" If he lost his place when he was eating, he would scream until we helped him find it again. (Which often required 3 hands.) "Go!- ing" was very important to him. Stopping at a stoplight did NOT qualify . When we stopped at a stop light, he would wail until we started driving again. If we put him in his car seat, we had better be leaving that very moment. If someone forgot something, we would have to drive around the block while the other person ran in. I was ok with all of this realizing that impatience is crutial for newborn survival. (He really was quite an angel kid, even then.)

But now- when I look back- it amazes me how much patience he has developed. We can now put him in his seat and THEN load up the car for several minuites if need be. He will just play with his toys. In every way, he is just a lot more patient.

It's neat. His self-awareness has increased as well. He now knows when he is tired. If you lay out his blanket, he will crawl right to it. When he's done eating and ready to go to sleep, he will turn over in your lap. Then you can put him in his bed awake and he will just relax and wiggle around until he falls asleep.

He's really a good communicator. Dave said in Sunday School, Ian got hungry so he "asked" to get down on the floor. Dave let him down and he crawled right over to his bottle. He figured out how to get his needs met. What a remarkable change!

"No"

Ian is now quite mobile. He now navigates at will through 3/4 of the bottom floor of our house. It's really a lot of fun to watch this kid! Bless his little heart. He's quite a little explorer. We love that about him! However, with absolutely NO safety awareness, we have to keep a close eye. Of course this has forced us to quickly ready up our "baby proofing". We've purchased baby gates, plug covers, electrical applicance cord covers, and cabinet door thingys. We don't have it all done, but have the most crutial spots covered. (At least we THink.) In spite of this, there are some things you can't just make unavailable such as the border where the tile and the carpet meet. He's figured out that he can pull that up all by himself about a week ago.

You know, I'm impressed though. I was terrified when I saw him start that. I thought this was something that would take months to teach. (Not to compare him to our ferrets, but we still have to keep an eye on them after all of this time and dilligent training.) Amazingly enough though, he's figured it out already. It took about 20-30 "no"s, about 4 relatively-gentle hand slaps, and 10-12 glooming over the shoulders, but the kid now just halts slightly and moves onward. What a sweet kid. We sure like him.

The first of a million lessons. I don't mind a bit. I like him. And I like to watch him learn. What a sweet little guy.

Playing With The Mirror

High Resolution Photos

There has been a request for higher resolution versions of some of the photos posted on the blog. You can download a zip file with all of this year's photos here. Be aware that it is over 76MB, containing 72 photos, many of which did not make the cut for the web page. Enjoy!

Playing with Mom

Johnny Jump Up!

Just Bein' Ian B'Nian

Chillin' With Kileen

Pulling Up

Ian pulled himself to a stand today, using the couch. I think he was somewhat surprised that it happened. He started out on his knees, and then pushed with his hands. But instead of sliding back, he ended up straightening his legs. He looked over at me, opened his eyes as wide as they would go, and gave me the biggest smile he had. I think that was the first time he'd ever done it.

Holding His Own

He loves to hold his own bottle. He also likes to hold his own spoon while he's being fed, but that doesn't work out quite as well.

Crawling

Ian is now crawling in the traditional sense: moving both hands and both knees in sequence. He's still pretty slow, but he seems to be enjoying the freedom and exploration. He doesn't go on the tile, I think because it's too hard, but he always gets right up next to it.

Courage vs Security

In psychology, they talk about how when a child is beginning to explore the world, a baby will go out and explore, then they will come back to home base (mama) to develop more courage, then they will go back again. I never realized then how fun it would be to be that home base, he will be having a good time playing, then he will crawl over and climb up in my lap. As a mom, I feel both proud of him for having the courage to go and explore and nothing less than thrilled sincere joy when he makes all the effort to crawl back. I just can't help but pick him up and laugh with joy. I adore that kid!

Warning!!!

The following 3 audio posts (actually done before this post) contain incredibly cheesy mama-baby songs. Do no listen unless you are prepared for less than optimal singing straight from the heart of a silly little mom.

Ian B'Nian

Ian- Boo Boo- Bucka Bucka

Waking up with Mama

First Swimming Trip

Here's his swimsuit. He looks buffed. Sorry it's a bit out of focus.

Twinkle in his eyes

Rolling Around

Yesterday morning we set the camera on its tripod while Ian was playing on the ground. We got about 30 minutes of footage, but he moves slow so we sped it up 16 times the original rate. It's a pretty funny sight. Then April did a voice-over commentary. This one is a little bigger than the rest, about 5MB, so please be patient while it loads.

Podcast

I love my TiVo. In today's world it just seems silly to think that my viewing should be dictated by a broadcast schedule. There's always something to watch, especially because it records suggestions based on my viewing habits.

One of the things I love about TiVo is its constant upgrading. Whenever there are new software updates, they're automatically sent to my TiVo. The other day I received another update. Included in this update is a new podcast program. It's great because I can listen to podcasts from the TV, which is often much more convenient than the computer. They even have a great directory to help you find podcasts. I didn't previously know it, but a lot of my favorite NPR shows have podcasts.

Podcasts have been around for quite some time now, but seeing a podcaster on TiVo has made me realize that they may be a lot more prevalent than I thought. As such, we've decided to add podcasting to NewYorke.org.

You can hear the audio files directly from our website, or point your favorite podgrabber (TiVo, iTunes, iPodder, &c.) to:

http://www.newyorke.org/rss.xml

Piano

So Ian likes the piano. Me- I can't play even the simplest of church songs. I've never had a lesson. But I like to try, so I have a keyboard. Well-Ever since Ian was a week or two old, I take him to it for as long as he is interested. The moment he gets bored, I take him away. It used to be about 2 seconds. Now he's up to like 10-15 min before he gets bored. He really likes it. It's just fun to watch him. I'm assuming in a few weeks, he'll decide it's baby stuff and no longer be interested, but as for now... Why not? Maybe he'll like it. It's a great cause and effect toy.

Our little migrater

WEll, the little boy is thinking about crawling. Not suceeding yet in the traditional sense, but more migrating across the floor. He can now travel a good 10 feet or so- between rolling and slithering forward, he is getting quite mobile. We'll glance away- look back- and then he'll be 2 feet away. He's quite a lot of fun to watch.

He's just started to play with toys over the last couple of weeks. It's funny. He went from NOT INTERESTED. Too VERY interested. I just love to watch him when he's playing. He gets this look on his face like, "Hmm. What's going on here?"

Slobbery Smooches

Ian will put ANYTHING in his mouth- including your face. (Nose, forehead, cheek bones, chin.) For the first few weeks, I wrote it off as just that - the "putting everything in your mouth" faze. A couple of weeks ago, however, Dave mentioned that he thought this was a kiss attempt. To be honest, I didn't believe him at first. But I'll be darned- It's true. You should see it. It's really cute. He'll be sitting on my lap, then suddenly lean over- suck on my cheek for 1.5 seconds and then move on with life- leaving my cheek quite slobbery and my heart smiling. As Dave put it. That kid gets lots and lots of kisses. It only makes sense that eventually he would immitate us.

You should see that baby boy's greetings! He must be bridging into object permanance. (Maybe he doesn't remember that you aren't there, but he know's something's missing.) The other day, I came in from work. And like so many days- His blue eyes just lit up and gave me the HUGEST smile. My heart lept for joy! As Dave puts it, it's like suddently he sees you and realizes that you are familiar. And he just lights up. He is elated! He produces a smile so big it takes up half his face. He yelps out the most excited cheer. You just can't help but hug him and cherish the moment. You just want to hold on for forever- while you still can.

My parents are on the other end of this Parenting thing- they are in the process of "emptying the nest" so to speak. That day seems so far away, and maybe I will feel differently when the day comes, but right now, that seems like the most miserable thing on earth.

I just feel like I need to treasure every moment, because one day he will grow up. And while, of course, that is and will be my wish. I think with every step there is just a little bit of grief for the time that has past so quickly and those joyous moments- those vibrant and colorful memories- that I fear might fade into the backdrop of my life.

Measurements

Here are the stats from the doctor:

Weight: 13lbs, 8oz (25th percentile)
Length: 26" (90th percentile)
Head: 17" (75th percentile)

Talking with Papa

We got this adorable clip of Dave and Ian chatting. Those two are just too cute. Ian's just loving that new voice of his.

Turning Over

This video is about a month old, but it's still cute! He has just learned to turn over from his belly to his back. Since then, he can also go the other way around. We've just closed off a DVD, so I should soon be posting the greatest hits.

Falling in love

Having a new baby is so much like falling in love again. I always knew that I would love my child, but I never could have imagined how much. I adore that kid! I just stare at him for hours. There is nothing that kid does that isn't cute. He is just so beautiful to me!!! It's like falling in love all over again. Only this time- it's not nearly as scarey. I guess it's just easier to have someone depend on/ need you than to need another person. When I look back, I almost laugh at how scared I was the first go around. What a blessing to have two people I can love so completely. What a blessing to have a baby boy. I adore that kid more than I ever could have imagined.

Return to work

I went back to work when Ian turned 6 weeks old. I work at a brain injury rehab in Galveston. I love my job. It is a great job. I work 3 days a week and am home 4. It's really a great situation. We have a nanny who is in the ward (church congregation) next door. She comes to our home the 3 days that I am gone. She is wonderful. She is kind and truly loving towards Ian. Basically, Ian has three caregivers instead of just 2. He loves his Kileen and she loves him. She started work about 2 weeks before I went back to work so that I could teach her about Ian, his routine, his personality, and his needs. I slowly left her with Ian for longer periods of time. By the time I went back to work, I was completely comfortable leaving Ian with her. We are so grateful for her love and kindness.

When I went back to work, I was a little concerned about how I would arrange pumping during the work day. Not too concerned- I have my own office and can just lock the door- but it still requires the support of my supervisor. (She's always supportive, but you always wonder.) I had a fear that she would try to get me to work full-time because they are under-staffed. (Which I will not do.)

When I went back, I was overwhellmed with people's love towards me. I must have had 40 people ask me about Ian and how he was doing, telling me they missed me and were glad I was back, and telling me I looked good (I needed it). I can't tell you how much I appreciated it. It was really the best situation I could dream of. My boss gave me her absolute support with regards to pumping at work and working part time. I went home that first day exhausted, but with a heart full of gratitude.

My new smile

Ian started "working on his smile" right before Thanksgiving. It was really cute, he would open his mouth wide with his lips minutely puckered- then pull them back into a smile. He would do this over and over. Those pictures of his smile at Thanksgiving are some of his earliest ones. Well, he has gotten pretty good at that smile. Sometimes he gets it confused with sticking his tongue out- Dave always sticks his tongue out at Ian. Ian imitates him. Then Dave smiles. Because the smile always followed- Ian got the two confused for a few weeks. It was quite cute!

Well. Within the past few days, Ian has started something new- he smiles AT you. He will be looking around, notice me or Dave, make eye contact, and produce the biggest, brightest smile. If we weren't already in love with the kid- that would surely seal our fate.

Physiology

I find it amazing how much basic physiology is designed to bring families together. When I am away from Ian I miss him. But I miss him in a different way and more intensely than I ever could have imagined. You see, as a breast feeding mother, I NEED my son. I am physically uncomfortable when I am away from him too long. (Uncomfortable is a severe understatement.) Because that pain is driven by the same hormones that drive my emotions, I literally miss him both physically and emotionally. At night, almost every night- I dream that I am feeding him. I wake up soaked and literally think that he is in bed with us. I can't get back to sleep until he wakes up to eat. My point is.. Physiology makes it so that I miss him. I need him as much as he needs me. Maybe this is what they mean by "the ties that bind". I recently realized just how much this parallels a husband's need for his wife (and vice versa). I guess the Lord knows what he is doing. He has done all that he can to make sure families love and care for one another.

Mary's Lullaby

One of the "joys" of having a new baby boy is middle of the night feedings. Experiencing these for the first time during the Christmas season makes me think and ponder on the thoughts and feelings of Mary and her baby. I find myself singing the words, "All mine in your loveliness, baby all mine. All mine in your holiness, baby divine. Sing on hearld angels in joyous sublime. Sing on and adore, for tonight you are mine." It's almost crazy, but I treasure those moments. I don't even mind being up in the middle of the night. I guess I am gone just enough during the week- that when I am home- I treasure every moment with that little boy. He is just so beautiful. Little by little, he will grow up. But tonight, he's my little baby boy and I am grateful for every moment.

Walking in His Santa Baby Suit

We found this cute little suit at HEB. Usually he wears it with other clothing, but Ruth put it on him in just his underwear and it looked so adorable we had to film it. Sorry about all the shaking, I'm still learning how to use the camera :).

Ian's First Christmas, My First Video Attempt

We got a camcorder for Christmas this year. Here's an attempt at displaying the video.

I anticipate posting a lot of videos, so in order to keep the page loading fast, I've put the video on the next page. Click on the image above to get to it. From now on, whenever you see the camcorder icon as above, there'll be a video attached.

If you want, you can also download a high-quality version here (22.7 MB).

Doctor's Update

Well, Ian had a doctor's appointment today, his two-month check-up. The doctor called him "lean and long" (though I prefer "lean and mean"). He's 23.5" and 10lbs, 10oz. That's the 75th percentile in length and 25th weight :). He fits the standard Yorke profile. I honestly don't know what he's doing with it, but he doesn't seem to stop eating. Well, we're proud of the little guy.

Blessing and Thanksgiving Photos

Here's some more pictures. The first few are from the morning of his blessing. Afterwards are pictures from his first trip... to Northern Virginia for Thanksgiving with BooBoo (my mom) and Buka (my dad). A special thanks to BooBoo for all the pictures she took for us. Click on the picture here to see a slide show of the photos.