Deborah in the morning

This one was too funny to pass up putting online. Cheers!

Ike Cleanup

Most of these were at our house (and our neighbor's). The Moses family was so sweet and came to help us cleanup.

We are so grateful. We really received very little damage at all (especially when you consider Galveston, just 30 miles a way.) We had just a little water in our front window (about 8 feet of carpet got wet), two fences down, and a LOT of tree debris in our back yard. I went out and started working on it the day after we got back. I worked for about 3 hours and barely made a dent. I was starting to get discouraged... it was going to take me WEEKS/ months to clean it all up. Especially with Ian tagging along, I was never going to get it done. BLess his heart, he was SO cute out there dragging branches out to the curb. I'm sure I have pictures of that too. It really lightened my load to have him so joyfully helping. Then my best friend, Janine and her husband Kyle and the kids came over. Within 2-3 hours it was all gone!!! I was SO very relieved! I am so grateful for their help!!!! I can't tell you what the help meant to me as the task was truly insurmountable without it.

Ike's Mess

I just wanted to get some pictures up so everyone could see what our house and area looked like after Ike.

Ike evacuation

Well, The Wednesday morning before Ike hit, Ike was a level 3 hurricane, but it was headed to Corpus Christi. Corpus is 5 hours from here so there was no need to evacuate. I went to work that day and then by that evening, it was predicted to be a level 4 and headed just south of Galveston.

Alot of our friends sat around contemplating whether to evacuate or not. Our family plan that states that if there is a hurricane that is a level 3 or higher and headed towards Houston/ Galveston, we evacuate. It made our decision easy. We packed that night planning to leave the next morning if predictions didn't change. I called my mom and a few close connections letting them know of our plans. We left the next morning.

We were planning on staying with a close friend in Austin. My mom called my Aunt DiDi and she offered us to stay with her. I can't tell you how grateful we were for her generosity. Her home was comfortable. But more than that she and Aunt Sherry were just genuinely warm to our little boy!!! He can be a little loud, but they just didn't notice. They were nothing but complementary about him and I am grateful. He's right at that age, where it's easy to criticize him for being developmentally exactly what he should be- an active and talkative little boy. We interacted with a couple of people that long evacuation weekend who had never had children and who weren't so accepting. It was challenging for me to not feel frustrated with them for their ridiculous philosophies about children---"Sit down, shut up (don't make noise), don't get dirty, don't touch any thing, and don't ask me play with you." It meant the world to me that they found him to be exactly what he is.... a delightful, happy, active little boy. They really made their home a comfortable and safe place for us and our little one.

In fact, I was REALLY impressed with Ian. He tolerated the whole experience very well. He was really quite a trooper and seemed to enjoy the different people and places he got to be and see in this new world. He had a lot of fun. He clearly had grown from his infant years of absolutely ZERO patience. All he wanted was "food" and "go" and stopping at a stoplight did NOT constitute going. He would scream the entire time until the car started going again. Breast feeding was tough for all of the screaming.. he would back off to take a breath and then scream because the food went away. I enjoyed him then, but am certainly grateful for the increased flexibility and patience. He has developed into quite an adaptable and enjoyable little boy!

Hurricane IKE

Well. It was looking like Ike was headed to Corpus Christi as a level 3, then suddenly this afternoon the models shifted to a category 4 headed north of Corpus, now it's a 3 headed towards us. Our Family's plan is to leave if it is a level 3 or higher and leave before the evacuations become mandatory. Ideally we should leave tonight, but we didn't arrive home to look at the changes until 8:30 tonight (too late to evacuate my little Ian). So tomorrow morning, probably 6am we will check the models again. If it still looks like a 3 or higher headed towards us, then we will leave ASAP. Hopefully that will get us out before the crowds somewhat. We shall see. If not, we will probably utilize our alternate route. None the less, we are packing just in case and it looks like we will likely be leaving in the morning.

Dave's birthday and his dreams

Dave just turned 29 today. Last weekend was Dave's birthday weekend. We don't have birthdays in our house, but birthday weekends. (As a direct result of poor birthdays as kids, I'm sure :) Anyway, we had a blast. We had left over Schlitterbaun tickets. Dave LOVES Schlitterbaun. We had an enjoyable and relaxing day. Nothing exciting, just a lot of fun!

So Dave has this dream of owning a company that flies helicopters when he "grows up", 20 or so years from now. He likes helicopters. He knows that most programmers get burnt out by about age 45-50, so why not go ahead and plan a second adventure. I think dreams are important and am completely supportive. So last year I got him Microsoft FlightNavigator for his birthday. He has really enjoyed it. This year I decided it was time for the real thing. I got him a helicopter flight for his birthday.

Ironically, on the way to Schlitterbaun, Dave brought up his helicopter dream again. I just smiled. (He had no idea what was ahead of him.) After Schitterbaun, I asked him if he knew. He still had no idea. He was thrilled when I told him. I don't know that I could have picked anything in the world that he would have been more excited about. It was awesome!

School starting

I was in primary for over 6.5 years. Literally, from the first Sunday after I got married until about 4 months ago when I finally got desperate lonely enough that I broke down sobbing in sacrament meeting and they decided to let me out of solitary confinement. I had made one friend in the last 6.5 years, fortunately a good one.

So School has started here and I am thrilled! What this means is all of those moms who I would love to get to know now only have 1-2 kids at home as opposed to 4-7. With a little effort on my behalf, I'm already starting to make friends again and starting to feel like myself again. I miss my personality. I had one once. :)

Potty training 2

So, I week or so ago, Ian had an accident so he watched me unload all of the contents into the toilet, flush it, and then attempt to rinse the remaining contents in the toilet. I should have known he found it a little too interesting.

So yesterday, I was taking a nap and I hear Dave say, "That it a bad idea." Apparently, Ian had thrown a pair of underware in the toilet. 20 min later, the house gets quiet..... I walk in the bathroom and there are 7 pair of previously clean underwear in the toilet. There wasn't a single stich of water left. The underwear had soaked it all up! We just shook our heads and laughed in total dismay.

Potty Training

Well. We've survived the first couple of weeks of potty training. Wow!!!!! There were a couple of days there when I thought I might croak over. So it took him 2 weeks to progress to 45 min. We were on 15 and then 30 min intervals for quite a while.

So week 2 of potty training, Dave went out of town in Atlanta, setting them up on his software. Ian has always been energetic. He got it from me. But recently, there has been quite a surge in those levels. WoooHooooooo! So on Thursday of week 2, Ian and his new found energy levels practically destroyed the entire house. I don't believe there was a toy in the house anywhere that he didn't play with in between his 30 min potty breaks. But he was doing great on his potty training. So Friday, I decided that I HAD to get him out of the house. So I took him to the children's museum. He had 3 accidents in the first 20 min. I thought I would die.... It was a loose,loose situation. Stay at home and watch your house fall apart or go and destroy all luck of ever potty training your kid. :) He's doing great now, but wow I was a little overwhelmed.

Floppy Buns

I had to share this one. In the summer, Ian generally just wears a onesie to bed. The other day, April got him up and changed his diaper, but didn't button up his onesie. So, he says, "Mama, my buns are floppy."

Girl's camp

I just got back from Girl's Camp on Saturday. What a neat experience!!! I went a few years ago, but at that point in my life, I was still trembling from grad school and my first year working for the school district- so I don't remember much.

I love Girl's camp!!! We went to a camp in Louisiana called Camp Edgewood. It is one of the most well kept Boy Scout Camps I have ever seen. We had 16 girls, three leaders, and a lot of fun. The July heat can be fierce, but the camp had nice tree coverage for much of the camp which helped significantly.

It's amazing how much the girl's tell you about themselves, their lives, and their challenges when you are out having fun and just hanging out with them. These are amazing girls. Many of them are having experiences not too unlike my own growing up. At first glance, people think,what trials could people be experiencing here in Yuppyville? But it's just not true. 2/3rds of these beautiful and valiant young women were experiencing something similar to some portion of my experiences growing up. From detrimentally poor examples of family members, to watching and worrying about a sick parent, being alone either emotionally and/or spiritually, or facing fear and abandonment when things are bad enough that you need to find another place for yourself. Amazingly enough, these young women were still here! They were still holding on and struggling with all their energy to figure it all out. I felt myself doing my best to cheer them on, "You're doing great. Keep it up. I know it's easier to give up, but that way is the path to a miserable existence. Keep it up. You are doing the right thing. Don't give up. And whatever you do, Please, don't seek after bad choices-- desperate misery is ahead on that path. Ask the Lord to help you. He will help you every day. Read your scriptures. Pray. And Pray some more. You can't make it without his help." I know I couldn't make it without his help.

I found myself spiritually fed just being in their presence. Watching and learning. They put on quite an amazing presentation! I found myself in tears for almost half of the hour long presentation. I am grateful for their contribution to my spiritual development. I hope that I will have the opportunity again to be with them.

My grandma

So a few posts ago- I mentioned my grandma's wedding. What I failed to mention was that I have seen her since then. In June, she happened to be in Bolivar (across the ferry from Galveston.. a total of about 2 hours away). My father, Dave, Ian, and I went out to see her for a few hours. (Bless Dave's heart- he was really busy that day, but I made him come anyway for protection.) She and my Uncle Ricky, his wife, and their grandkids were there. They had rented a cute little beach house on Bolivar. It was quite quaint. They were all very warm. (A marked difference from my last experience.) It was really a very positive experience. I even learned a thing or two about my mother. It was nice to see my grandmother so healthy. She's really doing well. She mentioned that she might throw a family reunion sometime. I told her to schedule it on a Friday and Saturday and we would do our best to be there. She lives in Arkansas.

When It all added up. I'm really glad I made the choice that I did (to not go to the wedding). Doing that would not have been commensurate with the relationship we had. But going two hours to see her- that was. And I'm glad we went. It was nice. We took some photos. I'm sure Dave will help me to attach them later.

My Buddy

Melissa Mathews gave this doll to Ian for Christmas. He has recently rediscovered it. It reminds me of the old My Buddy commercials. He carries the thing around and takes care of it. Yesterday he told me that the baby needed to go to bed. We came up to his room later and found that he had indeed put the baby to bed and tucked him in. He even insists that we buckle him in when we get in the car.

Kemah Boardwalk

Last week we went to the Kemah Boardwalk. It's got all kinds of rides that were perfect for Ian. He had a great time. Of course, he rode the train three times.

It's been a while

It's been a while since I've written. Sorry about that. Ian's been keeping me quite busy. And I think I was going through a struggle or two for a while. You know, I try not to look back on my experiences growing up. It can be quite traumatizing to look back. I try to look back only enough to make me realize how much the Lord has done for me, but not enough to throw myself into crisis.
Fortunately/ unfortunately I've had a few experiences over the past little while that have forced me to look back and try to make sense of it all. In November and December, my blood sugar hit the dust again. My hypoglycemia is something I have struggled with since I was 19. (arguably since 13). I spend most of my life with my blood sugar in the 50-70 range. It creates for me very real and distinct physical limits. I've pretty much just learned to live with them and enjoy life anyway. It's tough for me when I hit the dust again however.
Our whole family got the flu the day after Christmas and it took all of us a couple of months to pull out of it (me -even longer).
Why is this a big deal? Well, to be honest. I'm 31. I have a disorder of the pancreas. My mother was 32 when she died. Her pancreas exploded. (She also had a significant prescription drug problem which factored in significantly.) Cognitively, I know that it's all ok. (I'm not going to die or anything.) But it does cause me to stop and ponder and occasionally worry just a little bit.

So- I pulled out of that in Feb sometime. Then at the end of February, I get a call from my Father. About the time I found out I had been dropped by my health insurance because of my hypoglycemia. Apparently my grandmother (my mother's mom) was getting married (for the 6th time) in the temple (for the first time). Since I am the only grandchild who is temple worthy. She wanted me to come he said.

Well. In order to understand my response, you will need to get some background info...
When my mother was alive, I had an entire network of people who cared about me. My mom had 5 siblings. I had 13 cousins, all who lived within 30 miles and got together quite a lot. My mom had 2 best friends and we spent a lot of time with them as well. All of my grandparents were an active part of my life. My mom was active in the PTA and I always got great parts because of her support. We had a lot of connections--- at school, at church, family connections. We spent every holiday at my grandma's house- all of us cousins. I loved it. We were your typical middle class family. (plus a drug addicted, but otherwise amazing mother).

Well, my mom died and within 2 years- everyone disappeared. My aunts, uncle, cousins, grandparents on both sides, my mom's best friends and everyone at church (we were largely shunned). We were no longer invited to Christmas at my grandmothers. My father had offended them all. At the time it didn't bother me. I was a pretty independent soul. That was 3rd to 5th grade.

But life moves on. When I was 18 (give or take), I drove down there from Abilene with my brother Chuckie. We were visiting my father and my aunts (who we hadn't seen in close to 10 years). We decided to go see my grandma. Well, when we got there they barely let us in the door. My Uncle Ricky yelled at us for 4-5 minutes before they let us in.

That's right, I hadn't seen her for almost 10 years and she barely let us in the door. And that was the ONLY interaction I had had with my grandmother since I was 10. So when my Father called and she wanted me to come to her wedding in Arkansas (which would have cost me up to $1000 for flights and hotel), my immediate reaction was some combination of feeling hurt (because they were so Rude), feeling betrayed (dumped, abandoned), feeling pissed that she would expect so much from me when she treated me so badly, and overall used that she only wanted me there because she just wanted to have a family member at her wedding and I was the only one. I immediately said "no". But it was pretty important to my father, which caused me to feel quite conflicted about the thing. She was a member of the church and should have someone at her wedding. And I was her granddaughter (supposedly).

It caused me to take a good hard look at why all of these people disappeared and what I could do to ensure that my son would NEVER be left alone like we were. WE were in serious poverty, basically inches from the streets for years before my father dumped us at my Aunt's house. Where my cousin smoked crack in my front yard. I had a friend who took me to church and mutual every week (Thank you Melissa Crockett). Simply going to church kept me protected from a lot of what was going on around there- kept me from being taken advantage of--- too badly at least. My brother wasn't so lucky.

The combination of these things and the pressure to have another kid. Ian's 2.5 now, so every other day someone asks me when we will have another. I think it's rude!!!!!!!!

Anyway- I think I've recently made peace with all of this. At least for now. But If I've been quiet, that might have something to do with it. Dave and I have been working hard to get our life in order. We're doing great! We've come a long way. In June, we conquered the last bit of our credit card debt- which was HUGE a year ago. (Roughly a mortage payment worth each month.) Now we are saving and using that mortgage payment worth to pay off our cars, student loans, and house. We'll get there. We're doing great! Life feels a lot more secure now.

Co-writing

Sorry it's been so long.
I guess I've gone through a quiet phase here. Largely due to the fact that--- well, I have a very active 2.5 year old who insists that I keep up with him. :) He's amazing. We really enjoy him. We've been co-writing alot lately.... I do the drawing and the physical writing of the words, and he tells me what to draw and write. It frees him of all of the physical and linguistic difficulties of writing so he can just create. He loves it. It's been amazing what this kid has created. This kid has some great stories to tell! Of course most of them are about Thomas and his friends. "Thomas is pulling Annie and Clarabell all over the Island of Sodor". "Thomas has a funnel and a big separate coal tender at the back." Not too shabby for a 2.5 year old. I'll try to get Dave to help me attach some of his pictures.

Sea World

It occurs to me that we haven't posted in a long time :). We went to Sea World (San Antonio) in May. Here are the photos. Cheers.

Two- In all its glory!

You know. Ian is amazing. He really is just a delightful little munchkin. He is 2 (and 4 months). And with the age comes a vocabulary that is pack full of "my", "mine", and "no." He even says "no" to things that he wants. He truly is TWO in all it's glory! Thank goodness- he balances out the "my" and "no"s with a sincere, overwhelming gratitude. You need to know, that Please was literally the first word we taught him, but I had NO idea at the time, how valuable the word would be. People adore the kid- even with the "my/no"s because he is just happy and grateful. Almost as frequently as he says the above stated indicators of age, he produces, "Please" and the brightest, warmest most grateful "Thank you". He also has a nice, sincere "Sorry" when necessary. As a two year old, he's just learning the nicest way to say/do things. But he certainly knows how to show others love and gratitude. I am grateful. It sure makes the two year old developmental characteristics more palatable.

He is doing all he can to assert his independence while still keep his mama close at hand. Yesterday we took him to Battleship Texas. We wanted him to get on the boat- so he wanted to get off. Later, we wanted him to get off the boat- so he wanted to stay on. I LOVE IT! I get it man. :) You see, what he doesn't know is that his mama is just as determined/independent/ rebellious as him. When I watch him assert his independence, I just smile (and of course, re-direct him back). When I look back at my life, I realize that it is that fiercely independent streak that helped me to survive and to stand up and do what was right for me no matter what. (To this day, my father still spites me for that characteristic ;) When I see it in Ian, I just smile. I'm glad to know my kid's got a little "umph" to him. That "umph" will help that kid through a lot of disappointment in life. We all have to face our share of it. I'd rather my kid press forward through it and find solutions when things are tough. It's truly beautiful to me. Don't get me wrong, I'm still in charge, but I don't mind the temporary difference of opinion.

They always tell you how tough it is to have a 2 year old. It's got its challenges, but I love it! I can't imagine that little boy being any more wonderful or fun!

Ian's inner voice

Like most small children, Ian has no "inner voice" whatever he thinks comes out his mouth. For him this results in an endless stream of chatter that I find to be even slightly musical. I love to listen to him. It provides valuable information about what he's thinking about, what's important to him, and what he is actively trying to learn about.

Now days I hear more and more of my own voice and the voice of the adults in his world in his chatter. "Yea!", "Good job", "Hi Baby!", "No, no, no", "Oh my goodness", "Trash", "No way", "Thank you", "Excuse me", "Wifey", "Heavenly Father, Amen", "At home, at school, at play", "going to church. See momma may", "Mommy's ok?", "Going to Nini's house. See the kids" "Happy, Happy".

A well known Psychologist (erikson, I think, but I'm not sure) said that when a child is small, they don't have an inner voice. They use their outer voice to think through and understand the world, as they grow older, their outer voice shifts inward. It recently occured to me, if his outer voice echos me. So will his inner voice. That's right. The words I say. The words Dave says. The words the other adults in his world say to him will ultimately become his inner voice. The voice he will use to guide him through his life. Thus far I hear a happy kid who knows he's loved and know's how to love others and really likes trains and cars, likes church, and is really interested in Heavenly Father.

I still remember my mother's voice, "You are my pride and joy." She also believed I was smart and kind and really pretty. She reminded me to be modest, obey the word of wisdom of wisdom, and warned me against people that might try to put their hands where they don't belong. She taught me to find joy in service. Her words protected me against alot of pain in life.

It makes me realize how important it is to make sure the things I say are loving, kind, productive, and instructive. I've always believed that children become what you believe they are. Now I understand why.

My financial learning

So recently (over the past 6 months), I have some to realize my own financial cluelessness. (Don't worry, obviously not in the same ball park as my father.) It's amazing. I went to school for 6 years and had only a single 45 min lecture on personal/ family finance. Back in June, we got a copy of our credit report. I was absolutely shocked. We were paying mass quantities of our income in debt, not including student loans or our home. Our payments were equal to our mortgage payment. It didn't really even know how it happened. (I have since slowly come to understand. Ironically- Most of it came out of simple ignorance and not knowing how to plan.) Fortunately, we had a copy of "Transforming Debt into Wealth" by John Cummuta. I had listened to it before, and we had made modifications accordingly, but I guess this time, we were ready. Basically, he presents a plan similar to "One for the money" that the church publishes. Only this program provides a lot more education in the process. Well, 6 months later, we have recovered much of those resources, and by April, we will have recovered the remainder. And in the process of our learning, we have discovered something amazing.... the path to financial security and freedom. I think there's some hope for us.

Even better, if we stay on target and don't loose our way, Ian will have something I don't have... Parents to are comfortable in their retirement- and can take care of his college- so he can focus on doing great things with his life.

Maybe, in the distant future, we will even be stable enough to make a real difference for my father. In the meantime, I'm satisfied with learning to manage finances myself. It's already made a huge difference.