Funny kind of baby hungry

You know they say that women who are pregnant are selfish. I think it's somewhat true. I've had the same experience twice in the past week... It wasn't until the second time, that I understood why. I'll explain.

So the other day, I was walking down the hall at the school where I work, headed on an errand. I saw this beautiful baby down the hall and watched as everyone gathered around oogleing over the baby. My mind drifted to my own little one and my/our excitement over seeing her/him on sonogram and then into the future in my own dreamy little maternal land. I paused for a moment to get a better look, walked past the crowd, and then kept going. Beautiful baby. It was fun to watch everyone so captivated. As I walked past, someone said, "Don't you want to hold him." Uhh, Ya, of course I do. The thought hadn't occurred to me, but now that you mention it, I'd love to.

Well, today our friends brought over their one month old baby. I watched as my friend held her small baby, noticing the baby's posture, and her mother's comfort with holding her. It was quite a sweet view. It was nice to watch their comfortable unity. I just gazed on as we chatted about work, school, church, etc all the while with my hand gently warming my belly. My pants are getting just tight enough to be uncomfortable. It feels good to have by hand on my abdomen. Introspective. In a not so obvious way. After about an hour, my friend said, "Do you want to hold her?" Uh, ya, sure. (How come I didn't think of that?) She is a nurse. I think she assumed that I am not incredibly comfortable around infants. That's pretty common. But, I thought, "I'm not uncomfortable. But I normally would have thought of it. Huh, that's weird. What's that about?"

Then it occurred to me. I'm baby hungry all right. I oogle at every baby around. But I guess I'm baby hungry in a more self-centered sort of way. I don't want anybody else's baby. I just want my own. My body's too busy to feel the desire to take on extras. What an interesting experience. It's just funny that it happened twice in a week's time.

Wow. Did you see that?

My goodness. In the course of 2 months, the little one has grown from a 2 mm yolk sac (see Valentine's photo), to a 4 mm embryo with a heartbeat just 4 days later, to a very active 2.2 cm embryo with a head, body, and limbs a month later, and now 2 months from Valentines (4-15-05) the little one is 8 cm has a head, developed arms, legs, spine, and hands (with all the fingers.) That's 40 times the original size in 2 months flat!!! My heck! She was kicking her little legs and sucking her thumb. I think it's amazing how all of those cells somehow know what organ to become. I realize it's biochemical, but that's really amazing.

Makes me realize why I've been so sick. It must take a lot of chemicals (hormones) to keep the whole process working right. All those hormones make me sick as a dog, but that's ok, I've lived quite a while and can take a little abuse. The baby on the other hand needs everything just right. It takes a lot of energy to keep everything going.

At our next 4-week checkup we should find out the gender. We should be able to see her inner organs and such as well. That'll be cool. I probably really will be showing by then.

14-Week Snapshot

Now you can even see a fully-developed hand, fingers and all! The baby is now 8 cm from head to rump.

Rearranging the House

Well, we have a three-bedroom house. The master bedroom is obviously spoken for. One room in the front of the house became the defacto storage room. Who has time to unpack? As for the other room, Cosmo (our ferret) has long since claimed it as his own. Obviously there was a need to make a few changes.

Cosmo doesn't do well locked in the cage all day. Currently, he mainly stays in the cage excepting for the few hours each day he's out playing with us. The trouble is, he's quite rambunctious during playtime because he's been cooped up all day. We had, at one point, implemented a failed plan to let him roam the house all day. For the most part it went well, except for the fact that he somehow forgot his potty-training. That was the end of that little experiment.

Upstairs we also have a common area that we've been using as our office. It's been highly under-used, mostly because we don't want to go upstairs. We decided to move one of the computers downstairs and combine the office with the library in what is meant to be the dining room. It's worked out great.

We decided Cosmo could have the common area as his play area. Of course, being a ferret, he like to dig and scratch. We feared this would mean disaster for the carpet in that area. Our best solution (without ripping out the carpet) was to lay Pergo-style glue-free flooring. In all, it took us about three half-Saturdays to get it in.

Tonight we moved Cosmo in. He seems to love it. He finally has his toys all in one place again. He spent all night running around the room, playing with his toys, and climbing through his tubes. He's a happy fellow.

We can now start the seemingly gigantic task of preparing the other two rooms as the nursery and guest room.

slightly rounded

It's crazy.

I wore a pair of pants two days ago and a skirt yesterday, both of which are probably the only items in my wardrobe that fit into my waistline. Well, my goodness, suddenly within the last three days my waistline began expanding out the front. I'm not gonna be able to wear those for a while. I've been keeping an eye out for forever for changes. It's like I'm a teenager... "hmmm what's changed this week". But no stomach rounding until now. It's cute. Now, it won't be noticible to the rest of the world for a while now, but it's nice to know things are going ok.

Dave is worried that I might get self-conscience. Nah. Just evidence that things are going well. We have that book "What to expect.." I look just like the picture for the end of 3 months. It's just amazing how suddenly it started.

Soda

Well. I'm still puny, but I've figured out a new trick. Apparently my tummy likes carbonated water. If I drink some soda, often my tummy will calm down enough to allow me to eat! My a- little-older-and- MUCH wiser friends kept telling me to try it. Hallaleujah!!! My poor body. I guess I've been starving lately. (Don't worry, I haven't lost anymore weight. Still stable.) I've been eating as much as I can get down, but that's significantly less than usual. I've been waking up at 2,3,4 in the morning hungry. Not last night though- I had a little soda, a reasonable meal (as opposed to the few bites I can normally force down) at 9:30 at night (after my feable attempt at 5:00 pm), and actually slept through the night. Miracles do happen.

As for Dave. He's such an angel. I think every once in a while he takes the sickness away for me for a day or two. Last week, I felt reasonably good. Dave on the other hand, well you saw his Great Expectations e-mail. I tease him every once in a while about his being pregnant.

I'm really lucky to be married to such an incredible person. Poor guy. T wo nights ago, I was up for at least 3 hours off and on. I barely got any sleep. The next morning, Dave says empathetically, "I'm sorry you had a such a rough night." He, of course, was completely exhausted. When I don't sleep well, neither does he. He probably got no more sleep than I did. But he made no mention of that. He's really just a kind person.

He will be thrilled when this trimester is over. I think it's tough on him watching me be sick all the time. The situation pulls on his empathy strings.

I guess I should mention, in some wierd way, I don't mind all of this. It just lets me know that my body is still doing what it should be- being pregnant. I have an aunt who had 13 miscarriages. My mother had none. I guess being sick is just confirmation that things are still going alright. I'm not "worried" about that, but I'm old enough to realize it's a risk that people take in being pregnant. I'm happy for the evidence that things are still ok. Even if that evidence is not alot of fun.

All-in-all, life is good.

Great Expectations

Our doctor gave us a book called Great Expectations: a guide to enjoying your pregnancy. It's kind of a miniature What to Expect When You're Expecting. It has a lot of helpful and interesting information about during and after the pregnancy. It says the following about fathers:

While you are pregnant, the baby's father is also sort of "pregnant." He, too, is going through change, anxieties, fears, doubts, joys and stresses.

I must say I whole-heartedly agree at this point. I'm sure most of it is emotional, but some days I feel I'm going to be sick too. I guess we really are pregnant.

Puny

As Dave said, I'm relatively puny these days. It seems the little one is absorbing about 2/3 of my resources- which is Ok by me. It's kinda funny though, it's like my whole pace has slowed. Most people mark my personality by my moderately fast paced walk and overall high energy level. These days, I walk slow enough to force Dave to about 1/3 of his usual pace. It's just funny to watch me change.

I'm also a lot quieter. I think the reasons for this are two-fold: 1. My overall energy level is at a crawl and 2. I'm always a little afraid that if I talk, I loose whatever food I have managed to consume. (I'm feeling pretty protective of my stomach contents. I was loosing about a lb a week for a while there.)

My little sister said the other day, "You don't sound very excited." I just smiled and assured her that I am VERY excited in my quiet and calm voice- I'm sure she wasn't convinced. She's used to me expressing enthusiasm through my loud, excited, and outgoing voice. Now days, I express that more quietly... I tend to giggle quietly, smile my quiet smile, and then flap my arms imitating the little one inside. SO CUTE!!! Wiggley little one! Pretty amazing for a babe that's not quite an inch in size. Absolutely adorable! I am thrilled! I think overall though, I'm most likely to express that through just feeling more contemplative. My body reminds me constantly about the HUGE changes that are taking place. The funny thing is... I'm not showing and won't be for quite a while, but I feel VERY pregnant.

One more thing- ya know, I've always prided myself on my poor sense of smell. I find it quite a blessing in life and have bragged about it for years-- well until lately. Recently my nose has become quite a sensitive fella. Sniffing out and causing gags on even the most mundane odors and even things that I would previously have enjoyed. I think it's pretty funny. Well, when I'm not gagging. Life is funny.

Overall though, I'm doing quite well. A lot of people have a much harder time than me. I've learned a lot of strategies to keep me balanced. Hey whatever it takes to get that little one what she needs.

2nd Month and... Wow!

Some people say that the first trimester is the worst. April's sick everyday. Sometimes all she has to do is smell food and she's ready to hurl. I think it's making me sick too :). Supposedly the morning sickness will go away in a few more weeks. We're hoping.

I've heard pregnancy (at least at this stage) compared to long-term PMS. That seems about right to me. Thankfully April doesn't really have mood swings during PMS, and she hasn't had them so far while pregnant. She is tired a lot. Sometimes she goes to bed at 7:30.

She's on Spring Break this week. It's a good thing, she needs the rest.

8 Weeks, 6 Days

This image was taken today. We can now see a head and four limbs. You should've seen the little one wigglin' around!

Heartbeat Confirmation

Four days later, we have a heartbeat!

Upon First Suspicion

This is the first image, taken Valentine's Day 2005. You can barely see a yolk sack.