Sunday, April 24, 2005

Funny kind of baby hungry

You know they say that women who are pregnant are selfish. I think it's somewhat true. I've had the same experience twice in the past week... It wasn't until the second time, that I understood why. I'll explain.

So the other day, I was walking down the hall at the school where I work, headed on an errand. I saw this beautiful baby down the hall and watched as everyone gathered around oogleing over the baby. My mind drifted to my own little one and my/our excitement over seeing her/him on sonogram and then into the future in my own dreamy little maternal land. I paused for a moment to get a better look, walked past the crowd, and then kept going. Beautiful baby. It was fun to watch everyone so captivated. As I walked past, someone said, "Don't you want to hold him." Uhh, Ya, of course I do. The thought hadn't occurred to me, but now that you mention it, I'd love to.

Well, today our friends brought over their one month old baby. I watched as my friend held her small baby, noticing the baby's posture, and her mother's comfort with holding her. It was quite a sweet view. It was nice to watch their comfortable unity. I just gazed on as we chatted about work, school, church, etc all the while with my hand gently warming my belly. My pants are getting just tight enough to be uncomfortable. It feels good to have by hand on my abdomen. Introspective. In a not so obvious way. After about an hour, my friend said, "Do you want to hold her?" Uh, ya, sure. (How come I didn't think of that?) She is a nurse. I think she assumed that I am not incredibly comfortable around infants. That's pretty common. But, I thought, "I'm not uncomfortable. But I normally would have thought of it. Huh, that's weird. What's that about?"

Then it occurred to me. I'm baby hungry all right. I oogle at every baby around. But I guess I'm baby hungry in a more self-centered sort of way. I don't want anybody else's baby. I just want my own. My body's too busy to feel the desire to take on extras. What an interesting experience. It's just funny that it happened twice in a week's time.

1 comment:

  1. Anonymous03:06

    I don't think it is unusual to observe other babies and their mothers from a distance. Many women 'resent' the assumed propriety some other men and women have over their "tummies" or infants. It is much better to be invited than to pressure a new or expectant mother to touch and hold. It is polite and respectful to be invited as it demonstrates trust and comfort and allows the mother to share rather than surrender.