Sunday, October 30, 2005


I think there's probably no time in a person's life when they need parents than when they become one. My mom came for 10 days after Ian was born. She truly saved my life- on a milliion levels. First, I was in serious need of recovery. I pretty much just slept and fed Ian fed Ian for the first two weeks. I slept 7-8 hours during the day. My mom andDave took care of Ian and woke me up when he needed to eat. I desperately needed the rest.

She took care of me so that I could take care of Ian. She made sure I ate and slept. Thank goodness. I think exhaustion and pain are the primary causes of depression. She helped me take care of myself to keep these under wraps.

Also- she was there to teach us what we needed to survive. The first nght Ian was home, Dave stayed up with him the first half of the night and I stayed up the second half. The next night my mom slept with him on the couch until like 4:30 am. I was so relieved. She basically figured out what he needed in order to sleep and passed on the tips. The next night she got him to sleep and the swaddled him in for the night- he slept again and I was able to get him back to sleep after he woke up to sleep. I have been grateful for that woman a million times, but never so much as then! She understood the importance of swaddling when helping an infant sleep. I had read about swaddling, but wasn't going to understand on my own.

That was one of a million things that she modeled for us that we just weren't going to get on our own. There are a million questions... is this normal? Is this going to change or stay the same? etc.

And support. We don't know how to be parents. My mom and dad (my dad came for about 5 days) were an incredible source of support. We just needed to know that we were doing ok. My dad especially always expresses his pride in us- in our lives, who we are, and what we have accomplished. Sometimes you just need to know that you are doing ok. His vote of confidence brings strength to my soul.

1 comment:

  1. Sorry to write so many comments...I'm catching up b/c I've not seen updates in a while. My mom saved our lives after Ty. I didn't have the trouble with a "C" like you but it was the total exhaustion and constant feeding of Ty that got me. I was up all the time. My mom's willingness to stay up at night and just bring him in when he needed food was a true lifesaver as you learned. It's also nice to have that reassurance that you can't screw up too bad. Swaddling is a wonderful trick and you'll use it alot. Ty is almost two but we still do it every now and then when he is stressed and needs extra love and comfort b/c thats what it means to him. Another thing to help with the depression is to get out. Have Janine come over at least a few times a week to chat and let Ian sleep and her little girl, I think, play. Just get out and be with other people. Your a new mom but I know you're good at it!