Sunday, October 30, 2005

Fatherhood- past and present

I have the most incredible husband in the whole wide world. He is truly an amazing husband and father. He handles his new role like he handles everything else in life- with an incredible amount of love, dedication, and support. He has always been like this. I am his first priority. He has always supportive- from the first day we were married. He is the kind of guy who refills your glass before you even knew it was empty. He always anticipates my needs. When I was pregnant, he knew what Iwas craving and kept the house stocked with it before I knew I noticed that I was craving it.

As a father, he is no different. My last day at the hospital, the doctor asked me about the color of Ian's poop. I had no idea. I had only changed like two at that point. Dave had been taking care of them because it was really hard for me to sit up. Now that Ian is at home, he holds Ian and changes diapers at least as much as me. He is constantly looking out for my welfare as well as Ian's needs. He adores our little boy and takes good care of him. He looses lots of sleep- just like I do.

Dave has quite a full plate... the guy works full time, goes to school full-time, is Elders quorum president, and now is a new Father. It stands to reason that he might have a hard time juggling all of these things sometimes. Work stays- he has to keep his job, School is crutial (He's a computer programmer. The only job security any programmer has is to cross train in another field. He's working towards his masters in accounting.), Family is most important to him. It stands to reason that church responsibilities would fall through at a major transition period like this.

The men at church are clueless however.... You know the one's who were perfectly acceptable in their time, but would be considered to be deadbeats by today's standards. (95% of men over 40). They make statements to Dave such proudly proclaiming that they never changed a diaper because, "I didn't know anything about babies so I let her do it" or "How is APRIL adjusting to everything?" (If they ever did anything they would recognize the difficulty for both of us.) and "I just slept through the baby crying because I didn't know what to do anyway." All they had to do was bring home the bacon and arrive back home at the end of the day to be considered competent.

Fatherhood requires much more out of this generation of fathers. I think these guys deserve credit. Becoming a new father is HUGE- when you actually participate in your child's life. My point is- I am SO grateful that Dave chooses to be an involved husband and father. He is an incredible support to me. I really don't know how I would handle life without the kind of support he offers. He can't imagine being any other way- the likes being involved- and I love him for all that he does and is. I do wish others would resognize and offer him the support he needs/ deserves as a father in this generation.


  1. Anonymous22:44

    I just thought all men are supposed to be like Dave. I am realistic that some don't however. Most of the men in our ward are amazing. They take such good care of their children and work full time. I know a doctor who many people in our community have said they see him alone out with his kids as much as they see him at work. My husband is no exception. School work and elders quorum are a familiar ring to us also. He has always been involved. You know who we have to thank for these characteristics don't you? Their MOTHERS Thank you to the moms who taught their son's so well!!! We are going to raise our boys just like that aren't we April.

  2. I have seen exactly what you are talking about everywhere, sadly even with friends' husbands. I sometimes wonder how I got as lucky as I did with Reed. Dave is a good man and was raised by a wonderful family, as evidenced by the way he treats you and your son. Way to go!